It has a way of putting one’s life into perspective. When my husband Dean was diagnosed with brain cancer in September of 2003, our lives, predictably, turned upside down. After his successful surgery and recovery, both of us took stock of our lives. We had two beautiful young children, a wonderfully supportive network of friends and family, and a mandate to enjoy our time together. So, we started making plans.

First up was a trip to Europe with the kids. Remarkably, we spent three weeks hauling the four of us, our luggage, two car seats (which Dean coined “the anchors”), and a double stroller on seven flights to four different countries. What an adventure. Exhausting, but amazing and once in a lifetime. Luckily, like childbirth, you forget the painful bits.

When we returned in June of 2004, I got busy on our next couple of projects. 1) start a mommy rock band and 2) plan a big one-year cancer-free party for Dean. My idea for the band had been hatched earlier in the year, when I had got ahold of my brother-in-laws strat and got the fever. I had the name, The Kegels, which came in an inspired moment like a bolt of lightning. The basic idea: Mom’s need to rock, they need to scream, they need a couple of beers once a week and they need to get out of the friggin’ house! Lucky for me, I asked fellow-preschool mom, Jen Trujillo if she wanted to “be in my mommy punk band” and she gave an enthusiastic “yes!” in reply. Turns out she actually had some musical background! I, on the other hand, had nothing but, as Bono once said, “a red guitar, three chords and the truth”. Lucky again, the truth sounds really good when it rhymes!

We started rehearsing, and I started planning the party, and pretty soon it was decided we should make our debut at the big event. Dean’s brother’s band, Rock Paper Scissors were reuniting specifically for the party, and we’d be their opening act. Well! We’d better figure out what we were doing! We recruited Jen’s friend Beth to play drums and then we started playing, and writing songs, and playing and writing more songs. We were having a blast, but we didn’t know if we were any good or not, since we were such newbies. The party came, and the overwhelming response was “You don’t suck!” which we took as “You’re terrific!” We were hooked.

Trying to get gigs without a demo proved impossible, so we recorded a four song disc in December 2004. In January we started getting gigs, and have been playing out ever since, culminating with our biggies thus far: The Bite of Seattle and the Ballard Seafood Fest, and most recently, the ROCKRGRL Conference. In October 2005 we released our six song EP, "Totally Effaced," which includes our “hit” Mini-Van Mom, which has gotten airplay on KMTT The Mountain, thanks to a Kindergarten Dad emailing it to DJ Marty Reimer.

It’s been a great ride. But a rollercoaster. Dean’s cancer returned and he underwent another surgery in August of 2005. He fought hard and so many people rallied to bolster his strength. The Kegels continue to make us all laugh. The band has always given us, as a family, and as a community of friends and relations, something bright to hold on to and crack up about. Dean’s contributions to the band are countless and he’s the invisible fourth Kegel. Without him, simply, the band would never have been born.

So, here’s to seizing the day and putting aside your fear. My advice to you? Whatever it is you’ve always wanted to do…..start today. You won’t regret it.

Be well,
Penny Webb

Dean was the invisible Kegel, always involved in everything from gear acquisition, to song ideas, to swabble officiant. His diagnosis in the fall of 2003 spurred Penny to take her crazy idea for a mommy punk band and turn it into reality in the summer of 2004. Dean was the Kegels' first drummer, playing son Miles' kiddie drum kit in the basement while Jen cranked the strat and Penny mastered feedback, and little else, on friend Jon's bass. Classically trained soprano, Liz, added vocals and eye candy. Oh, such humble beginnings.

Dean loved music, and gear, and he was able to satisfy his insatiable desire to learn everything there was to know about it--and then purchase just the right bit--through the Kegels. He searched for months for the perfect amp for Jen--a Marshall JCM 600. On one of his last outings to Guitar Center he helped Jen to buy a beautiful acoustic guitar, and a Mexi P Bass for Penny. He was searching for the perfect electric guitar for Jen as his illness overtook him. Don't worry Dean, we'll buy her that Gibson SG Goddess sometime soon.

To honor Dean, the Kegels will be playing a memorial show Monday August 28th at the Sunset Tavern in Ballard. Dean's friends will join in: The Transmissionary Six, Jon Hyde Band, and Rock Paper Scissors will round out the evening. The event will also raise money to help pay for residual medical expenses and establish a trust fund for Dean and Penny's children.

Donations can be sent to:

Penny and Dean's brother Dan both wrote and recorded songs for Dean's memorial service. Download mp3 versions here:

Ready
by Penny Webb

Song for Deanr'
by Dan Webb

We miss you, Deanr.
With Love,
The Kegels